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U Think U Kno But U have No Idea,This is the Diary of b.e.t.h.a.n.y.d.a.y.l.e.*-

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Friday, May 26th, 2006
6:46 am - .-♥.....♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.....♥.
...well..it is 6:47 am...in the morning..and i havent been asleep all night. Ive been laying in my bed all night...with no sleep.

-have u ever just had so much stuff on your mind, you cant even think about going to sleep?

-i have so much on my mind right now, i just...i dont know what to do..im confused about the whole thing. It sucks.

-Sometimes i belivie in the whole situation, and sometimes its hard to even grasp it... I hate when i feel this way cause i can never get anything done that i need too.

-I dont know if i am doing the right thing or not right now, i need some guidence, to help me through this whole situation...and all i can do is pray it turns out for the best..and i will be able to get through it all in one piece...

...♥...I dont know what too do...♥...


current mood: aggravated
*Show me whats Inside*
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
3:31 pm - HI!!!!
-well i havent written in livejournal for a while becuz myspace is better lol, but i figured i would just update and say hey! lol, i know not much, but life is well...i guess ;)


current mood: blah
*Show me whats Inside*
Friday, March 24th, 2006
10:25 pm - why?
-i need some help sometimes. i dont know why i am letting this get to me... but its important to me..everyone knows that...i dont understand...it shouldnt be something to cry about..i geuss im a crybaby, but i wanted it all to workout, and let it be good and happy. i dont like her for this.she knew how important it is to me but she obviously dont care about how she makes me feel. ive never felt like this before...she really hurt me. this was suppose to be my oppurtunity and what would be going for me, and i wanted this mroe than anything else in the world, and everyone knew it, and she did to...i know she cant help it, but she shouldnt shove it in my face and act like a whore and what not. i cant belivie how this is overcoming me... i thought i would be able to hold on to this, and not let it get outta control...i cant belivie i am letting this get to me like this...... and i cant belivie that i am crying over this...this is gay...im over it ,....im done with it all....
2 *Show me whats Inside*
10:13 pm
-i told myself i wouldnt break down. i seriously thought i could handle this and try to move on, and deal, while in the process praying and hoping it will turn around and be all better...dont look like it is working out the way i plan to well....and it hurts.

current mood: depressed
*Show me whats Inside*
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
10:17 pm

I Have a Myspace now guys...


*Show me whats Inside*
Sunday, December 25th, 2005
12:33 am
I have been tagged by Micheal!

5 bad habbits:

1.)talking too much
2.)worrying to much
3.)caring to much
5.)telling people what i think of them alot.

okay i tag

Morgan Henry*
Holly Fleming*
Tesia James*
Lianna Branham*
Leirin Case*

well tomorrow is christmas exciting!

today we had ryans birthday party, hes two! ronnie and leslie came over for his party and to exchange chirstmas gifts, there awsome! we opened one present tonight, and i got a digital camera, the ones that can fit anywhere lol, its handy!

thats basically what happened since last time i updated lol, imight update tomorrow night,or monday night! so talk 2u all soon! love ya bunchies,leave me some comments!



current mood: cheerful
15 *Show me whats Inside*
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
7:20 pm - ...holiday time!
hey ya'll whats goingon? nothing to much here* here is how my week went*

monday did nothing*

tuesday i went and stayed the night with my sister*

wedesday*the next morning*she had a doctor's appointment which we had to stay there for 3 hours, cuz every hour they had to take her blood*at 9:40 then 10:40 then 11:40 then 12:40 then we left, went to mc donalds, then went to the lighthouse christian book store*then i came home about 2 or 2:30 or something like that then i went to sleep, i was so tired*then i got up around 5:30 and got ready for church, we had church alil later cuz Zach had to go to his dad's christmas party*so we had it at 8, we went and ate, and exchanged gifts, mingled, etc.then we took everyone home* got home about 12:00, i went to sleep about 12:30 i was so tired!

thursday which is today*didnt do anything*

that was basically my week this week so far*i'll update prolly on saturday night*so talk 2 u all soon, love ya!



christmas in 3 days*

current mood: cold
4 *Show me whats Inside*
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
8:03 pm - hey...
hey*im out for chritsmas break*

thursday i spent the night with heather*

wedesday was youth group* we practiced for our christmas play*

wedesday we took 7th period exams*

thursday we took 4th , 5th, and 6th exams*

friday we took 1st, 2nd, and 3rd*

on saturday memer,my mom, tiff, and me went to town, shopped and ate*on saturday night i spent the night with memer and tom*

sunday today we didnt go to church cuz my dad is sick*

well here are some results from quizzes i took*


You Are a Light Pink Rose

You represent sweetness and grace.

Your vibe: Kind and gentle

Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Jessica Simpson

Flirty, feminine, and fun.

You are a City Girl!

Whether you live in the city or not, you've got the heart of a city girl.
You're up on the latest trends - what's hot in music, food, and fashion.
And you love to be on the go. Your perfect day is filled with tons of fun.
Your perfect guy is a city guy, so head to LA, NYC, Sydney, or London to find him!

Your Scent is Rose

Delicate, feminine, and soft
Your personality is fresh and understated

You Are Cherry Kiss Lip Gloss

You're a total girly girl who's every guy is sweet on.
You take pleasure in the simple things in life, from cute t-shirts to stuffed animals.

Any guy needs to match your romantic idealism to win your heart, which is why few have.
No wonder Cherry your signature flavor. It's delicious, sugary, and fun - like you!

current mood: blank
*Show me whats Inside*
Sunday, December 11th, 2005
5:42 pm
hey you guys*i figured i would update tonight*

i went to heathers and stay till about alittle after 9, had fun*

got up about 8 and got ready and about 10:30 or so we went to kingsport to look at houses and property incase we r moving there*and we went shopping*i most of my christmas shopping done*got home around 11 that night*

my parents went to kingsport! i stayed home, i wanted to go but didnt..been online, etc..boring day,ididnt go to church today, first time in a while! hehe*my dad was sick, so was i, so none of us went!

right now im talking to mychele and michelle, lol werid huh, mychele from valley and michelle from PC, lol im talking too 2 differnt mychele's lol*kay i know werid...nehoo*

about all those problems i said in the last entry..it is still going on, by im going to say anything else about them agian, i dont want you all to worry lol, yeah right! hehe =) nehoo*

i guess i will go now and talk 2 u all soon, comment me..have fun in life! muah



current mood: chipper
1 *Show me whats Inside*
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
6:41 pm
hey guys, whats going on? nothing too much here! i havent update in a really long time! so i geuss i will get u all caught up...

my birthday was last thursday, i turned 16! hopfully getting my permit sometime soon...

latley i have been having family problems! majorly, dont wanna talk about that!

i have been having major friend problems!

Guys! ahh,major guy problems!

school problems

my life has just been going swell latley as u can tell, and that is why i havent found time to get myself up for the challenge to update this old thing i use to do all the time!...but im still alive...

all i can do is, pray +



current mood: confused
5 *Show me whats Inside*
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
9:23 pm
Happy Thanksgiving! =)


-oh and by the way, today makes 1 year since i have been baptized* =)
*Show me whats Inside*
Monday, November 14th, 2005
8:45 pm
okay, i haven't updated in a REALLY long time! so i figured i would now lol... i just wanted to so u all would now im still alive out here somewhere lol

i will just tell u about this weekend cuz it is way to far back to remember lall what happen in this time period i havent updated...

well friday at school was okay..by the way we didnt have youth last wedesday so yeah that didnt happen*

after school i went with my mom dad and tiffany and tyler , we went to pizza hut over in town by shoe show! i dont like that one,i like the other pizza hut better*but anyways,afterwards we went to wal~mart*me and tiff looked at cd's and etc. and we seen someone from PC that we use togo to school with and they stalked us lol, anyhoo* then i bought jessica simpsons new fragrance, sweet kisses the ediable one, vanilla cupcake,it smells amazingly awsome, and my mom told me i stink lol, ahh welli like it lol.

left the house at like 9 and me and tiffany and memer and my mommie allwent to Norton to shop*i bought a sweater and a tank w/ a shrug. then it was like 2 oclock by the time we got done shopping lol, so then we went and ate the chinese place. it was enjoyable. Then after that , Louise was having an Avon party at 4 so we came back from Norton and got Judy and went to the Avon party! i bought a bunch of new make-up, acessories and etc. and she was giving me all this free stuff lol, memer toldme when we got home that she thinks louise favors me from everyone else and i was like why, and she was like, she talks 2 u alot and she gave u all that free stuff and at church she hugs u and etc. and i was like aww thats makes me feel special lol.*

got up and went to sunday school and church, my daddy preached*it wasa really good service*he did good,im proud lol,then after church*we went to the mexican toeat*then we went to shoe show to buy me some new shoes yay lol, then i went with my mom to quality foods, and i got sugar cookieslol, yeah i was excited!lol nehoo*

heather spent the night sunday night and went to school w/ me this morning*school wasokay* i guess*

but i guess i will update later sometime,im getting bored and tired now, and i am talking to someone that is telling me some shocking news so im goingto go now, and talk 2 u alll8a sometime* Love You


current mood: shocked
3 *Show me whats Inside*
Friday, November 4th, 2005
7:51 pm
hey whats going on? nothing much here...here was my week and etc.

this has been the worse week of my life!!!

it has been okay*i got my report today*friday*im sorta upset with myself on that*ah!

youth group
kyle couldnt come so he didnt do his little service thing we all have to do, so zach is doing it next week. it was an okay night at youth*i made micheal pretty mad at me*...

monday after school my mothr came and got me and then tyler was getting on my nerves and i yelled at him then my mother started yelling at me and i had already had a bad day as it was, continuing with a bad week, so i started crying! sucked! i hate when i get all emotional like that!

i think i could really say this could be the worse week of my entire life! first the whole monday thing*with my mom*then on top of that*school*then on top of that*friends! god immature people!*then on top of that i was sick all week*then on top of that the whole guy thing that i talked about in the previous entry*then on top of that im already emotional unstable as it is! it sucked all week*


this sunday is church*cant wait for church, i need a break and church is where i can get away from it all...well not all of it but most!but yeah..

well i guess i will go now and talk l8a. bye.

2 *Show me whats Inside*
Monday, October 31st, 2005
9:20 pm
hey, whats going on?nothing too much here*

latley, ahh! sucks*okay i guess i iwll fill you in.

theres this guy, i liked him for a long time, right, well i found out the other day he has agirl friend, and it made me so sad, and i feel like it is my fault like i passed up the oppotunity to be with him, that is basically what he told me the other day. this guy is wonderful though

im the type of girl that i will not tell i guy i love him unless i mean it. if a guy tells me he loves me, and unless i mean it,i wont tell him, unless i really love him, so, this guy im talking about, i am *in* love with him*and that is a whole lot coming from me!shew it sucks, and i have liked him a while*

whenever he is holding her*i pray to god that it is not enough for him*that everytime he is with her, i pray he thinks of me, i pray that i touched his heart so much deeper that he cant stop thinking of me*he has to love me with the way i love him, i personally think we r meant to be and that may sound a lil cheesy but hey, i dont care...

every guy that i have ever been with, or ever will be with or have even thought about being with, cant amount to him, before, with these other guys i could never see a future witht them, but with this guy, ican see my whole life maped out for me, and it is wonderful. but he is with someone else now, and prolly dont care about me*

-you all should really download this song, "miss me baby" by- chris cagle*it is such a good song and it reminds me alot of him* =( he always made me happy, but now..im like my old self agian!

i always thought that he was differnt ya know, like i would mean something too him, and this girl he is with now, i dont even know her and i hate her, how pitiful is that imean really, and he didnt do a thing too me and i am mad at him, but i cant help feeling this way, cuz i cared so deeply for him,i never thought i would be this upset over him. but i guess u dont really see what u have right in front of u until its gone.i never really went by that phrase in life, but now i will cuz i accually know what it means...this sucks...bad...

i never thought this could happen. i thought everything was good between us, but now that he got a new g/f i miss him although nothing has changed at all...and i always told myself, i will now admit to loving him, i wouldnt even admit it to myself becuz i was afriad of getting hurt in the long run, and i accually let myself go, not caring, and hoping for the best and accually telling myself, ya know hey i like this boy, it could be differnt with him, but i guess i was wrong, i should have known i would get hurt in the long run, thats what always happen...and being me, the hopless romantic, it means more to me then anybody would think..it hurts..i thought he cared..and agian i let myself go and ended up getting hurt after promising myself i would admit to myself i liked him, and when i did, it went downhill,i should have never even thought about being with him, cuz now our friendship is screwed up.and i dont think now it could ever be the same... =(

i hate when this happens*..i hope he misses me =( even though im not gone*


current mood: depressed and lonley*
2 *Show me whats Inside*
Saturday, October 29th, 2005
12:01 am
hey, im going to make this fast

cuz im sick and tired so yeah, i need some sleep cuz im sick..

thursday there was a shooting threat at school, so we came home early, then we didnt go today


youth group went good.
was fun
and interesting
the message was good also
everyone has to five a message one night
i am in two weeks i thin

but im going to go cuz im so sick right now and cant think, update later...i about put something else, im talking outta my head...soo ttyl



current mood: sick
4 *Show me whats Inside*
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
4:01 pm - ...
hey hey whats going on? nothing much here just figured i would update cuz i havent in a while i havent since like thurday and it is tuesday so..yeah but anyways

school has went okay, still some conflict between friends which i wish would end i hate it! today we had a speaker about drugs but all the sophomores including me have already seent that guy cuz he talked 2 the freshman last year which was us haha. oh and i have been informed today that next semester i will be attending PC. becuz we r going to move too cowpen*=)

-on friday after school i went with memer,tom, ronnie, and leslie to pizza hut*

-on saturday i got my day to take me shoping*i bought a new pair of pants and a hoodie and sweater*then we ate at mc d's*and went to wal-mart*

-on sunday i went to church and sunday school*micheal was our teacher for sunday school and he fnished within 10 minutes after 10 so we had 50 minutes to kill lol so we all talk and stuff, then me and zach took a lil black doggie home*it was so adorable it was little and black, it was a lab, it was so adorable*but anyways we got back in time to go to church*so i went to church it was okay, my daddy preached, it was good*

-after church i went with memer,tom, ronnie, and leslie to the huddle house*i will never go back to that place*it was so nasty, not the food but like, i could see back in the kitchen and this guy grabbed the food and fingered it and put in on the plates, it was so nasty, never eat there trust me* lol*

-monday after school i came home and slept till the next tuesday morning lol, omgah i was like wow i sleep alot, it is where i dont sleep over the weekend, then i get up everyday for school, sometimes i just have to sleep like that lol*

*well i guess i will go now, considering i dont have anything else to talk about*=) so ttyl, love you all*muah*


current mood: annoyed
5 *Show me whats Inside*
Thursday, October 20th, 2005
8:29 pm

it went okay, i came home early cuz i didnt feel very good*

today was accually a bad day for me*not something i have very often*i find myself depressed and like i use to be, i dont know why, it bothers me cuz i thought i was over that stage of my life*

have you ever been so depressed and you dont know why, but you just cry and cant stop because you are hurting deep inside, but have no clue what has set you off?*i feel like that totally 100% right now*i hate wheni get like this*i tried to like cheer myself up alittle bit today*like i was listening to this cd*it is a book that is on a cd*and it is called lifes driven purpose or something like that*it is in chapters*and for 40 days u listen to 1 chapter a day*there are 40 chapters*and it is about the bible and god and all this i was trying to make myself realize that i shouldnt feel like this cuz i have god in my life and to lean on him but it didnt work as i planned*

i feel like im SCREAMING for attention! i hate it, im broken, but im always picking up the pieces because i dont want it to be noticable*but i guess i have nothing left to hide* im broken and i dont care if i show it, becuz im not perfect and i know it! so i dont care, i have my ups and downs, but i will end up okay i always do.so judge me, go ahead judge, trust me i dont mind, and personally i dont care what you have to say...i just dont care if i show it anymore, u need to know it! and im over it! im tired of people pushing me around, and i not standing up for myself*

i need 4 people in life, 1st and most God! god will always be there through everything and he is all i need. 2nd my love of my life...3rd my family. and 4th...myself, my true self...so im okay when i have that, and i kno i do so im kay, so i dont care if u judge me know,now that u know im not perfect, i have my faults. im not always happy, it is fake sometimes, but now it is open and u know im not perfect so im over it!


-*I'll keep falling...until you catch me*-
-*Im no angel..But i can make you *smile*-
-*Maybe im afriad of the way I love you*-
-*Now i realize i need you*-

...-i love you, .honestly.*




"Only One" - yellowcard*

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one


-this is a really good song, and i know most of you have prolly heard it already before but, if you are going too, and can or whatever, u should really download the acoustic verison,it is so much sader and so much better of a song...

well i guess im done, i will go now and talk to you later, sometime...

*i, less than three, you*...<3


.forever.&.always. <3


current mood: depressed
*Show me whats Inside*
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
10:01 pm
hey hey whats going on? nothing much here, but here was my day*

1st period-enlgish2-work on papers*

2nd period-visual arts-draw

3rd period-algebra2-did work, took notes etc.

then lunch*

4th period-biology-she taught something from the book*

5th period-spanish2-did work, we got to work in groups*i worked with tiff and sarah*

then we went to homeroom*-

then break*

6th period-world civ-work on group work and did an open ressonse*

7th period-practical living-did work and talked*

-there were only me and sarah, tiff, heather, sabrina and brandon there, not alot of people there dont know where everyone was*the service was about abomintions and the worst 7 in god's eyes, etc, it was a good service, it was the first time back to church in like 2 weeks*then we ate and played a game*then came home*

life has been so boring latley, im normally like always busy btu i dont know why but im always not busy anymore, =/ hmm...i dunno, but i dont know what else to put cuz i have a boring life...so i guess i will go now, & update about tomorrow if i even have anything to talk about, everyday is the same if u havent noticed, im thinking about not even doing like what i do during the day like in each period cuz it is so boring and time consuming for nothing, so comment me and tell me if i should change and not update evetyday or if i should sometimes or what...i guess that is something i have to think about and agree on. so i guess i will talk too you all later sometime! love you all muah*




-*...I,less than three, you...*-

current mood: crazy
2 *Show me whats Inside*
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
9:19 pm
hey whats going on? nothing too much here, i have to hurry and update cuz my dad is yelling at me to get offline so..but anyways...i didnt get to update yesterday*so yeah nothing happened more than usual anyways, but here is today*

1st period-english2-went to the reality store thing, i was a nurses aide, when the whole thing was finshed i had 144.50$ left over, wonderful me in know lol, and i had a monthy mishap and alot of other people didnt*my child broke me down i tell ya lol*

2nd period-art-draw*

3rd period-algebra2-went over work, then took alil notes and then there were like a lot of people left outta the class so she told us we could wait till tomorrow to work*so i did biology homework in the meantime*

then lunch*

4th period-biology-took notes and she taught us stuff from the chapter*

5th period-spanish2-took notes, did work, we r going to go the mexico over spring break, exciting! lol

then break*charla got mad at me, over something stupid i dont even know what it was over*

6th period-world civ-turn in work,did more work, then did group work*

7th period-practical living-did work then talked*

after school we went to the open house at school*talked 2 teacher's etc.*

well that was my day, im going to go now and talk 2 u all l8a sometime! love you all muah!*




*I'll keep falling...until you catch me*

current mood: my tummy hurts
*Show me whats Inside*
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
8:36 pm - hey
hey whats going on? nothing much here just figured i would update alil...

was the lock-in, it went okay*all the people that was there were, me and zach, tiffany and micheal, sarah and heather and sabrina*not alot*but it was sorta fun i guess u could say! we watched this movie and then we played games*the movie was called escape from hell*it was a good movie*although me and sarah fell asleep about the last 10 minutes of it hehe, but it was about this guy who went to hell and back, it was a good one*

omgah i sleep so much, and it so wasnt like me, i sleep from like 8 that morning where we got home from the lock-in until 8 that night then at 8:30 went back to sleep and woke up agian at 6:30 this sunday morning*

woke up at 6:30 and got online*then took a shower*then got ready for church*then went to church*and sunday school*in sunday school we talked about trust*and who u can trust and etc.*then after church went to my aunts house*it was my papaws and daddys birthday*so we had like a lil party there*like dinner and cake*so we went there and ate and etc.*all the kids were running around, it was so cute*i love times like those*happy times*then we came home and i sleep AGIAN lol i tell ya i sleep alot this weekend and it is so not like me*im always up!

shew..my parents are fighting agian so i guess i should get off of here now and go to bed so i dont have to hear it as much*i hate it! ahh! so i'll talk 2 u all l8a sometime*

-love you all*




*i'll keep falling...until you catch me...*

-*Sooner or later, your gunna hate it, so go ahead and throw your life away*-

current mood: cranky
3 *Show me whats Inside*
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